


i never thought it'd hurt this bad

by thedevil_andgod



Series: no one knows what the future holds [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, Jealousy, M/M, trigger - Freeform, tw mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3073787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevil_andgod/pseuds/thedevil_andgod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron knew what he was getting into when Robert kissed him for the first time; when he had kissed back, willingly. </p><p>He just didn't realise how fast feelings could bloom, even during an affair shrouded in darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i never thought it'd hurt this bad

**Author's Note:**

> This is unedited and unbeta'd, written at quarter to three in the morning during an attack of 'cant sleep must write' insomnia. 
> 
> This is terrible but feedback is so appreciated!

Aaron knew what he was getting into when Robert kissed him for the first time; when he had kissed back, willingly.  
He knew it was nothing more than a roll around in the hay, that Robert would always go back to Chrissie and leave Aaron cold and alone and inhaling the scent Robert left on the bed sheets.  
He knew it wasn't serious. Knew it meant nothing, that he meant nothing to the other man. 

He just didn't realise how fast feelings could bloom, even during an affair shrouded in darkness. 

With a tight knot of anger and jealousy curled in his belly, he glared - no, glanced, he told himself, I'm just glancing - across the pub at the happy couple, Chrissie smiling at her beautiful blonde fiancée, who had an arm wrapped around the brunettes shoulders. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and Aaron looked away, pain and guilt shooting through his system along with the bitter lager he took a large gulp of.  
He didn't see the way Robert tensed uncomfortably, subtly, so subtle even Chrissie neglected to notice it, and then quickly rubbed the smudge of pale pink lipstick off his cheek. 

When Aaron looked over again, all he could see was a perfectly normal, perfect happy couple who were clearly perfectly in love.  
Staring at each other, doe eyed and faces softened with smiles in the bright glow of the pub, Aaron couldn't help but hate the both of them. 

They were so public, so easy, so relaxed. 

Aaron knew it could never be like that with him and Robert. 

As the blonde looked around while Victoria began to gossip with Chrissie, he took note of his secret lover, slumped over the bar, eyes fixed on his half finished pint.  
When Aaron risked an upwards glance his eyes locked with Roberts, and despite the way he could see how the icy blues warmed up when they touched his, he couldn't shake the feeling of inferiority.  
He had to put an end to this, before someone got hurt. 

Correction: before someone else got hurt. 

It was too late for Aaron, but it was his own fault. He should have known better than to let Robet slip past his walls and defence and make his claim in the mechanics heart. 

Aaron knew love wasn't easy, had learned that from Jackson.  
He knew it burned and seared and took no prisoners, could leave you gasping on the bathroom floor reaching for a blade, the only thing that could make you numb. 

He didn't know a quick fumble in the dark could so easily spin out of his control. 

He didn't know an innocent kiss could start something that felt so good, but hurt, hurt so bad.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer; I do not own these characters, just this work.


End file.
